“Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the LORD?" (part 1)

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Yesterday I was peaceful after I talked to my dear hubby.
He said we can go to Joplin to help.
My dear hubby who is a careful, detail-oriented, logical man.
He who think about simple stuff 1000000x said "YES"
to go and drop stuff that people so urgently needed…

I know someone there so we are not going in blindly.
So we had a plan...
Then few people talked to me about more “effective” way of helping.
Perhaps just use the online donation link!

Click the “easy button”
Click submit.

No hard long drive with a cranky 8 years old!
Yes, we were going to take him.
We think he needs it...

What if that "easier way" is not what God wants us to do?
How arrogant are we to think that the sole purpose for the trip would be “TO HELP!”
What if WE NEED HELP! Perhaps God wants to open our eyes to something.

Yes, we can send money with a click of a button…
Yes that would mean more people would be helped

BUT WHAT IF

We miss HIS lesson by trying to be efficient?
We miss the opportunity of sharing the gospel directly to someone because we can buy more toilet paper with the gas money…

Sometimes what God tells us to do does not make sense.
I had never felt this strong about going into a disaster EVER in my life
Never went to any disaster area for that matter...
Those that know me know that it is not my cup of tea.(I prefer coffee anyway)!

This morning reading that chapter in 1 Samuel 15 convicted me.
God told Saul to kill and destroy everything that belong to the Amalekites
But Saul saved all the “good ones” ….

I can understand this…Can't you?  Especially us "mommies on the budget"
It makes sense doesn’t it?
Why waste the good ones when we can use them?…
In fact we can even give them to GOD (through sacrifice)…
What a noble purpose that would be...

But God wasn’t happy…
He wasn’t thinking of mere “efficiencies” and “recycling” for that matter…
He just wants us to OBEY! Even if what HE asked us to do doesn’t seem to make sense at the time…

As I was driving this morning.
The Lord brought to my mind an event that happened 10 years ago.
When God told me to do something that did not make sense.
I obey and has been blessed by it...

That would be part (2)....

Fun weekend with friends

Saturday was a FUN weekend... Perfect weather, not too hot and not too cold. Thank you Lord!

Our new friends came to visit and fellowship with us.

Brandy and I met at the women Bible Study... First time I met her, I went home and told dear hubby," I met a lady who sounded so like me...." Through her sharing and my sharing during Bible study we felt that we have the same type of personalities, struggles, etc... So funny... Brandy went home and told her husband the same thing.

So we invited her and her family over. It was SOOOOO MUCH FUN! She has 8 kids. I definitely need to learn some patience and grace from her!

They brought bubbles and mei2 is loving it!

It's so cute how she tried to blow. She put her mouth so close and concentrated hard.

Of course brother enjoyed the bubbles as well.

They had a blast! Brother and mei mei had fun chasing bubbles and popping them.

We ended the perfect day by eating strawberry with nutella!! How awesome is that!

We enjoyed each other families so much that we are planning to go camping together...

Thank you LORD for bringing new friends into our lives

Brandy brought me a beautiful hanging basket that you will see if I finish working on the front yard.

Easter Sunday, speed signs and the cop

We go to church in Marysville. That’s about 25 minutes drive through the country road…. If we use highway, it will take us about 45 minutes…

On Easter Sunday… we had to be there around 9 am… so we were in a hurry…

There were several speed signs because in some area the speed limit is reduced from 55 to 40 (nearing a small town). Then goes to 50 instead of 55… It’s weird…..

Then a cop was hiding about 1000 feet from a small town church…

Trying to catch those who wasn’t watching the signs

Good thing we were not running late otherwise we would be one of his catch…


Then another cop right after Mac D as we get into Marysville
Again about 1000 feet from a big church, knowing that traffic will be more than usual on Easter Sunday….

Luki and I chuckled… But isn’t this so true about life?

1. God gives us signs… We have to go through this life “in tune” with HIM… knowing “HIM” and “His signs” for us…

2. Because if we don’t, the devil is ready to see us fall… to give us hindrances so that we may be delayed in reaching our destination with God.

3. Isn’t it sad that even the cops know that there are people who normally would not go to church, will go to church on “special days” such as Easter and Christmas.

Anyway, before you asked why we go to church so far away while there are several churches within 5 -10min from our home?

Several reasons:
1. The church preaches the Gospel EVERY week!
2. God specifically called us there almost 2 years ago (long story, will share someday).
3. It Is Southern Baptist….
Finally after almost a decade, God decided to answer some of my seminary friends’ prayers that I may go to a SB church and repented. Just kidding…
(I was the only reformed Presbyterian girl in that SB seminary and I believed a little bit of wine is good for your stomach)
               Disclaimer: I don’t drink now because I am allergic to some wine…

So we've been there for 2 years, and we love Living Hope church   If you are local and looking for a church, email me :-)

If you are out of Columbus, you can listen to the sermons here : pastor's sermons  

He is a good preacher!.  Another reason why we love our church is because of how God speaks through him.

Luki and I joked 2 years ago when we started going to LH.  We said," You know you are aging when for the first time in your life, you go to a church where all but one pastor on staff is younger than you!" The only older pastor on LH staff was the associate pastor.
In the end... so glad we made it to church on time without any speeding ticket last Sunday...

My LIFE STORY described in this song.

I heard this song last night for the first time!

I cried before the first stanza was over... How can I not... IT IS SOOOO ME described in every detail....

How PRIDE has been my struggles.... even my roommate 20 years ago told me ," be careful, humble yourself before GOD humbles you!"

Surely!  I have been broken by HIM so I can run back to HIM...
I wish I can tell you that I pass each lesson the first time it was given...
But truth be told... IT WASN"T the case..

I NEVER pass the lesson completely.. NEVER...
Still learning!  Still Failing... Each time HE picked me back up again and teaches me again..ever so patiently!

2 days ago, I watched the passion of the Christ on TV... The part that He was brutally beaten...

I can't stand watching too much of it.. So graphic :-(  Made me down on my knees today to think that someone took that for me.... Someone loves me that much....

Hope you listen to the song video... Hope you find it a blessing... I can't find the CD yet... so feel free to repost... No matter how many time I listen, I still cry.... It is so convicting... it is such a picture of me...

GRACE's lyric...

My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.
I see the things You do through me as great things I have done. And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker.

Chorus:
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."

At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged, knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job. For who am I to serve You?I know I don't deserve You. And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on.

Chorus*
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."
You are so patient with me, Lord.

As I walk with You, I'm learning what Your grace really means. The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary. So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You
by giving up my life to you For all that You've given to me.

Chorus:
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."



Listen to the song....

What if your blessings come through raindrops...

My favorite song lately... I heard this last week... It spoke so much too me...
Hopefully it spoke to you as well...

Listen to it..... It worth your 5 min...

GOD loves you very much....Personally I had been through what is said in this song....
Laura story... the writer and singer..... wrote this out of her heart...
Her husband of 1.5 years at the time was diagnosed with brain tumor and now 5 yrs later still left with disabilities..

She HAS LOTS of questions.... but she said ,"Sometimes God gives us what we NEED and not what we WANT!" Sometime we NEED to be broken because HE wants us to get closer to HIM.... To Run back to him....

So here you go... Hope you find it encouraging...

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

The story behind sitting on the same table with President GEE...

Thursday was a very special day. I got invited to a very special banquet at the University. It was a celebration for the 25th anniversary of one of the University scholarship program "Critical Difference for Women".

I walked into the room. I was told to go to table #2 . Think nothing to it as it was table #2. Found out that it was the "center" table". I went to look for my "place card" and passed " President G --" " Mr. Andrew S..." My heart stop ! Can't be! I am sitting here??

How in the world did I get so lucky! Those who know me know that I don't act too good if I am off guard... Well, I was nervous. Trying to maintain my composure as I was not prepared....

I am glad I had my camera...


I was sitting next to Mr. S - The Vice president of Development of the university...

My husband asked when I came home... "so?..."

I said, " I was so stupid, I was so nervous that I did not talk much (ME?? YES ME!) I did not even tell this man about my dream to have the university partnership with a university in Indonesia so we can trained SLP in Indonesia and surrounding countries..." It was  my dream...! But sadly, I did not say a word!

Though it is an urgent matter! Indonesia, the 4th most populous country in the world ONLY have 300+ speech therapists! The highest degree "ahli madya = associate" some got bachelor in education (because SLP is a major within education dept there)... It was 60 yrs behind what we have here in the U.S

My wise husband said, "Oh well.. Perhaps it wasn't the time... Perhaps God just use the time to introduce you to them... If you share now, they may not be interested..." I LOVE my hubby!

    I got to take a picture of all of us sitting on the table together... But I couldn't be in it while taking the picture... So my place setting and name card was in instead of me.

Finally, after the banquet was over, I asked the president for a picture. He graciously agreed...

Everything happened because of this great woman. Ms. Ingrid. She is the Senior director of coke (that C-C company). 25 years ago she agreed to partner with the University to set up scholarship for women who had interrupted their education due to family responsibilities and "life"....

     I was one of the recipient. For as long as I am in school and have certain GPA they will give me money every year... Money that can be use to help pay childcare, etc....

I still remember the day that I got the news 2 years ago. I was on the campus bus.  Check my phone and saw the email.  I read and I was stoked, shocked, lost it. I called my dear hubby and cried.

I wasn't expecting it one bit.  My husband and I just talked about our finances, calculating college etc the day before. I was struggling... I felt bad to ask my family to move from living quite comfortably to living on a "budget" while I am in school. However, my husband and I believe that this is God's will and we must obey. I am glad we did take that first step of faith.  It has not been easy but it has been AWESOME to see how God works through it all!

I got off the bus. Got into my car. Turned the radio on. This song started...

What Faith Can Do 

So I sat in the parking lot... crying...  Amazed...

I am amazed by everything God has provided!

He has shown us over and over again.. He is providing for the next school year too! Read it here " Jehovah Jireh: my provider


In everything GIVE THANKS :-)

Jehovah Jireh: He is my PROVIDER

We often hear this verse quoted from The Bible ,” Cast all your anxiety on Him…” Well, today during my morning Bible study, God spoke to me that there is more to that sentence.

The whole verse is actually,

1 Peter 5: 6-7
“ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s almighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 
 

That verse jumped to me today… God has been teaching me to be humble. I have been struggling with pride, control and anxiety ever since I could remember.

The most recent lesson was when God used my test score. A test that I had to take to apply to the Ph.D program last year. I dreaded the test. In fact, I could have applied 2 years ago but postponed to give myself some more time to study.

I asked my professor what score would ensure acceptance… He said,” Just make sure you don’t go below 1000.” But if you want to compete for university fellowship, the score should be at least 1200-1250 (AT least!). One of my girlfriends in the lab already took the test to apply for next year. She got 1250 and thinking about retaking the test to see if she can bring her score to 1450.

About a month ago, I got the acceptance letter! 

Then I worried about funding… How am I going to get funding because my score is not that high….

I was anxious…

Last week I got a letter. I received a FELLOWSHIP award for next year… Free tuition and a stipend! It was enough to compensate the loss of income of cutting back on teaching Kindermusik this fall.

I was humbled! It was a MIRACLE! Definitely God’s work and NOT mine!

My score was ONLY 990!! 10 below the minimum...

Miss by an inch! Which one worst? 900 or 990?  Honestly I thought I prefer 900 then... because missing 10 points was very very painful!!


Those of you who know me well enough, KNOW that I must have agonized over that score for DAYS….

I did… I agonized! I was DOWN!

I was depending on myself way TOO MUCH!
I think I can study so I will be good enough… But I can’t!

Now I know… God made me humble myself…
To depend MORE on HIM and less on myself…
To let HIM take control…


Matthew 6:25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

For the LORD who has created this beautiful Hyacinth is able to do ANYTHING!