Jehovah Jireh: He is my PROVIDER

We often hear this verse quoted from The Bible ,” Cast all your anxiety on Him…” Well, today during my morning Bible study, God spoke to me that there is more to that sentence.

The whole verse is actually,

1 Peter 5: 6-7
“ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s almighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 
 

That verse jumped to me today… God has been teaching me to be humble. I have been struggling with pride, control and anxiety ever since I could remember.

The most recent lesson was when God used my test score. A test that I had to take to apply to the Ph.D program last year. I dreaded the test. In fact, I could have applied 2 years ago but postponed to give myself some more time to study.

I asked my professor what score would ensure acceptance… He said,” Just make sure you don’t go below 1000.” But if you want to compete for university fellowship, the score should be at least 1200-1250 (AT least!). One of my girlfriends in the lab already took the test to apply for next year. She got 1250 and thinking about retaking the test to see if she can bring her score to 1450.

About a month ago, I got the acceptance letter! 

Then I worried about funding… How am I going to get funding because my score is not that high….

I was anxious…

Last week I got a letter. I received a FELLOWSHIP award for next year… Free tuition and a stipend! It was enough to compensate the loss of income of cutting back on teaching Kindermusik this fall.

I was humbled! It was a MIRACLE! Definitely God’s work and NOT mine!

My score was ONLY 990!! 10 below the minimum...

Miss by an inch! Which one worst? 900 or 990?  Honestly I thought I prefer 900 then... because missing 10 points was very very painful!!


Those of you who know me well enough, KNOW that I must have agonized over that score for DAYS….

I did… I agonized! I was DOWN!

I was depending on myself way TOO MUCH!
I think I can study so I will be good enough… But I can’t!

Now I know… God made me humble myself…
To depend MORE on HIM and less on myself…
To let HIM take control…


Matthew 6:25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

For the LORD who has created this beautiful Hyacinth is able to do ANYTHING!